I have heard so many versions of the following life-stealing thoughts–and they truly break my heart because no one needs to live this way to be healthy. See if any of them sound like you:
"You’re too old to start a new career”
“You’re not attractive enough”
“He probably found the first date boring”
“You’re not smart enough”
“You’re too fat”
“You are under too much pressure; you can’t handle the stress any further”
If this sounds like you, please hear this: The first thing you need is to tell these voices or as I call it the ‘Gremlin’ to shut the ****up. We have the good voice, which says you are great; you’re terrific, you can do this and then you have the devil on the other side, which says you are not enough. What you need to do is recognize the voice/gremlin and say something back to it. For example, if it tells you are too old to pursue your career respond telling it you are going to start now! If these voices are constantly making up a story in your head, why don’t you make sure it’s a nice one instead.
Tips & Tricks for Shutting down the Inner Voice: When the Voice in your head gives you a hard time
1. Name it, visualize it, and tell it to shut the **** up. It may be someone from your past, a critical parent, friend, coach someone that said something which stuck with you and you have been hearing it for years, so now it’s become your voice. The first thing you need to do is put a face to it or give it a name, assure yourself that this is the critical voice speaking and not you! Next comfort that voice telling them that you’ve got this, and you can handle this without their additional help!
2. Stop Listening – you may not be able to completely put an end to these critical thoughts, but you can definitely decide not to respond or react to it. Believe in yourself and carry on with your work even if the voice is telling you to give up. The voice may definitely get louder when they notice you are not following it however it will soon disappear overtime when it notices you are not going to remain the victim.
3. Find an activity/ or do something you enjoy doing – The monotonous tone of that critical voice is definitely going to create some level of stress. When you hear that voice growl, do something to reduce your stress level, to some it may be meditation/exercise or to others it may be going to your favorite restaurant to eat. Do what works best for you to overcome this problem.
4. Write Letters – to better understand the difference between the past and present try writing a letter to that critical voice. In the first letter write all your thoughts and feelings, anything you want to say to that critical voice, do it to get it off your mind. Next, write another letter where the voice is responding to you and write the stuff you want the voice to tell you. For example, I am proud of you, you worked so hard you are surely going to accomplish what you hoped for, or you are beautiful don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
5. Find the Positive – similar to writing letters, make a list of all the good things you did today. This could be anything, for e.g helping a blind man cross the road, holding the door open to an old woman at a grocery store or it could be as simple as doing well in a test you studied extremely hard for. Search for positive things you did throughout the course of the day.
If you want to figure out how to finally put an end to these voices, let’s talk about it at your next session! Email me at ellen@yournextchapter.com or DM me on Instagram!